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Showing posts from 2008

Dial M's Jon Owen stars in Irvine Welsh film

You're a Star by Colin MacIntyre
TRAINSPOTTING writer Irvine Welsh is making his directorial debut with the first full feature film ever to be filmed in Merthyr Tydfil.Pre-production started this week as a crew from London set up camp at The Bessemer Hotel in Dowlais ahead of seven weeks of filming as part of the ITV project written by the Scottish author and starring Heolgerrig actor Jonathan Owen as a champion darts player in the lead role.

World-famous author Welsh formed a production company with Jonathan and novelist Dean Cavanagh earlier this year and the comedy, entitled Good Arrows, is one of the first projects.
Irvine was expected to arrive in Merthyr this week where he was planning to hold workshops with members of the Merthyr Media Project who will be involved in the production of the film, for which Jonathan dons a fat suit.

It is thought to be the first full-length feature film to be shot in Merthyr. Jonathan, who first appeared on our screens in the Merthyr-set soap Nuts…

Issue 13 online

DMFM Mugs on sale

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Dial M mugs are now on sale at £6. To purchase one please contact us on mike@themartyrs.com

Issue 12 online

New York New York

As soon as Joe Calzaghe announced that he would be having his last fight in New York the need to be there became like a drug to me. Despite the problems of booking the original fight in September (before Joe broke his hand), myself and Wolvesy found ourselves in the bar at Bristol Airport at 7.30am the day before the fight. The Continental flight saw a few Miller lites served by a Stewardess who sounded like Grover off Sesame Street, we swapped Near and Far gags for an hour in her honour and soon we arrived in the Big Apple, very hungry, ready for a sesh and keen to have a top weekend.

Our hotel was just off Times Square and on crossing the neon lit wonderland I asked the Ginger Giant what his first impressions were of one of the busiest places in the world. Wolverhampton summed it up perfectly, "It's like Ponty,....... on market day". We got in our room and the TV was rammed full of American Football - NFL, College and no kidding there were a few schools games on with ki…

Molesey (Away) FA Trophy - January 1991

A decent Martyrs team (actually the team was crap, as always). For three intrepid explorers, who travelled up over ye old Severn Bridge to that sad and rather smelly country, the day was more memorable for an event which took place in the toilets at half time (ooooooo) than the game itself.
It was myself, Bungle & Will who lumbered down to the law courts during the depths of the harsh Glamorganshire winter, to experience the delights of a Trevor Meyrick away trip to London. These were the days when you were actively encouraged to carry alcohol on away trips. The more the better. In fact it was common place for fans to be turned away from one of Trevor's busses for not carrying the required quota of eighteen cans of elephant beer and a kilo of whizz. This almost caused the first mishap of the day as Will, upon inspection, only had seventeen cans in his possession. Things were looking ropey for a few moments until the great man produced a two litre bottle of the demon voddy which…

Issue 11 online

New York / Calzaghe Fight Photos

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Merthyr on the Orient Express

It's 8.30 a.m. The place, as usual, is the Merthyr Law Courts. The DMFM Crew are once more gathering one by one for what will hopefully be another memorable trip. The destination, The English Capital, for our F.A. Cup tie with the mighty O's of Leyton, E10. The Supporters Club buses are filling up nicely and the sight of about four hundred Merthyr fans queuing up is great. Just like the old days, eh?
9.00 a.m. arrives and our minibus still hasn't turned up along with a couple of the boys ie Jimmy Kranky and Mr Strong. However, we are joined amazingly by Typey sporting two bruised eyes courtesy of the bouncer at the Pitz. 9.30 a.m. and our minibus finally arrives with Mick, Gwynney, Hulby and, as Shaun Ryder would say, Mad Cyril on board. A quick trip back up to Dowlais to collect Mr Strong and the booze from the Miners and we are away, with a quick stop in Treforest to collect P.J. Woodcraft - Welsh Lovespoon maker.
The journey up is quiet although the traffic in London is h…

Issue 10 online

The Return

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, it’d been a while since I had flirted with the old lady, would she still be there? The same old place, the same time, the same welcome? I wandered up the Park Terrace, hands pushed deep into my pockets against the winter chill, I daren’t raise my head into the harsh wind that blew down the avenue, lest the inevitable tears be mistaken for grief. I was aware of my companions, their resolute foot-steps echoed through the ages, how many times had I bound up past St. Mary’s a black & white rosette pinned for ever to my heart? Now in my mature years I feel a duty not to get emotional about arriving at Penydarren Park, seasons may change but time stands still on the corner of the Tregenna, young Davey Martin is always the first to greet me, it’s a tradition really, I’ve walked around and made a fresh run at the gates if David has been called away. Some things just have to be right. Neil the Gate takes the loot, we discuss today’s horse or ma…

Monday

I went to Aberdare today, you know just to gain a perspective on life at Merthyr. Snake Valley in the autumn, the leaves were falling fast in Llwydcoed as my bus inched its way to the Valley floor, but the town centre was busy despite the late hour of the day. Wandered around the Market, freshly baked welsh-cakes, perfection indeed, followed by a quarter of winter-warmers, it couldn’t be more old skool!. Not a bad day out to be fair. I may go back.

Spaghetti in Bologna

After an inept performance in Zurich against an average Swiss side another away fixture against an Italian team who were, at the time, pissing the group, was never going to be easy. In the grand scheme of matters it didn't really make much difference what the outcome of the game was as Denmark at 'home' four days later was the big one. But, the manner of the defeat in the game in Bologna was the most disappointing factor; if it had not been for a phenomenal display by Paul Jones in the Stadio Dell'Arra that night then could easily have been a double figure deficit that separated Wales from the Azzuri.
Nevertheless it gave opportunity for a Dial 'M' For Merthyr mini Summer holiday to the Emilia Romagna region of Italy - a city that has modelled its pasta on the naval of Venus.
A 1.30am start from MT; Councillor Griffiths, President Mytton, Wingnut, Emma and myself were the intrepid explorers on this occasion, with the Councillor drawing the short straw of being dr…

Issue 09 online

Bad Middle Names - First in a series of one

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Paul RONALD Keddle and Michael RONALD Jones. Merthyr's Two Ronnies.

GLADIATORS a tale from the end of the last millennium

The site of the Roman fortress is where the Coliseum of Penydarren Park now stands. Many gladiators have graced this magnificent monument that was subsequently reconstructed for a battle with a European legion from the land of Julius Caesar.
There are numerous tales told of the great gladiators and their generals who have graced the Emperors colours of black and white. The battles fought on the sacred turf of Penydarren Park have led to many spoils of war by the eleven gladiators that have been selected to represent our great legions.
There were times when the Emperor was good, innovative, gentle, wise and most of all a great leader of men. Most people knew that the poor folk called supporters were the lifeblood of the kingdom that surrounded the sacred turf of the Coliseum, without whom nothing would exist, but very few listened to their wisdom, and very few still do.
Sometimes the Emperor was unwise, being short sighted and only looking for his own glorification and after his own inter…

Issue 08 online

Coming soon

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Funky sheep T-Shirts

Welsh Film Remakes

Dial M For Merthyr, the title is a spin on the film title, so this inspired a few more.

Here's the list;
9½ Leeks
Trefforest Gump
Cwmando
The Lost Boyos
An American Werewolf in Powys
Huw Dares Gwyneth
Dai Hard
The Wizard of Oswestry
Cool Hand Look-you
Sheepless in Seattle
The Eagle has Llandudno
The Magnificent Severn
Haverfordwest Was Won
Austin Powys
The Magic Rhonddabout
Independence Dai
The Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch That Time Forgot
Seven Brides from Seven Sisters
The Bridge on the River Wye
A Beautiful Mind-you
Don't look Back in Bangor
Evans Can Wait
A Fishguard Called Rhondda
Where Eagles Aberdare

God's Country - Part one in an occasional series

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Moppy and Wolvesy in Dusseldorf this morning.

Election news

With Dial M having filled three berths on Merthyr council this year and with another by-election being fought by another member of the Dial M Party in two weeks, we are proud to announce that Hulby is also in the running for election as the next President of the USA. This Channel 3 report from the US charts how Nigel was plucked from obscurity to be a serious contender to McCain and Obama.

http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=370743&altf=Ojhfm&altl=Ivmcfsdijop

Issue 07 online

Game On!

After two draws and two defeats the omens weren't looking good for a trip to Jenner Park in the quarter-final of the BBC Sports Department Flagship Tournament. Barry Town, about to retain their League of Wales title by a another massive margin, had scored 100+ league goals with Eifion Williams and Darren Ryan regularly on the score sheet. They had experienced players running through their squad. Recently though there had been a few hiccups: draws against Ebbw Vale and Rhayader Town had sown the seeds of doubt in the professional players minds, would they cope with Mitchell and Cohen’s pace? Could they penetrate the mean defending machine, marshalled by the revelation of the season - Neil O’Brien? The match, being screened live by BBC Wales, turned into a cracker. The Dial "M" Party Posse assembled at the now customary Twynyrodyn watering hole, The Baili Glas Inn, landlady Marilyn promised the boys curry and chips on return from the game. Quick pints, minibus arrives, tra…

Dial M - Jib Jab fun - 2006

Typey, Wolvesey, Myton, Hulby and Wingnut get the Jib Jab treatment in 2007. Very funny.
http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/Y7G5lxR6GDlqXJZm

What the ****ing hell are you wearing

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Well done to Stade de France for this horror kit. Merthyr's 1995 testcard kit has finally been surpassed.

IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHING.....TELETEXT?!?

I was sat there watching the telly, just me and my woman sitting there relaxed, the only thing spoiling the chilled atmosphere is me switching back and forth from Page 307 of Ceefax, no score, no worries, just a rush of adrenalin each time the pages scroll through to that page, 0-1, Mitchell, me bouncing around the room, to the fridge, a couple of tins, BBC2, The Outer Limits - shit programme, back to the Ceefax, 1-1, Drewitt - I knew it, you don't release players of his enthusiasm and commitment, still it's a point, back to the outer limits and some stupid scientist morality tale.
9.47pm, I scroll through to page 307, "come on boys, a last minute winner " eh 2-1, not for them , Stafford win in last minute, depressed, back to fridge, clear the stock of lager, slumped and dazed, appeal to the great Chairman in the sky who replies, "I sent you Addison, what more do you want?" PURPLE CONES

Tired and Weary - 2000

With growing financial problems, dwindling crowds and an alarming lack of interest, is it time for one of the remaining members of the original "irate eight" to cut their losses, admit they were wrong and return "home" with their tail between their legs?
At approximately 9.10 pm on February 16th 2000, Andy Morrell slotted home his seventh and Wrexham's eighth goal of the evening to round off a miserable and totally unjustifiably embarrassing night for Merthyr Tydfil Football Club and their dwindling band of supporters. I say evening but could easily have said season. I could have taken a broader view and said the last five years or so. The stark truth is that there is a strong possibility that our team could be playing Western Division football next year. From what I've seen this season we are certainly not too good to go down.
There should be no excuses for what happened at the Racecourse Ground. The result was just a culmination of the mis-management and ge…

TIM HARRIS - WHAT's THE SCORE? 2000

They say that revenge is sweet, and it doesn't come any sweeter than our 4-0 hammering of local rivals Newport Gounty on their own patch. With the papers predicting an easy win for the Gwent side, Skywalker's Martyrs turned up cast in the role of lambs to the slaughter. However, this was so far removed from the eventual truth, as the Nike boys handed out a lesson in football to an outclassed and outplayed Newport, which left their manager Tim Harris ln a terrible state. Having had his team reduced to a shambles by the P.P. crew, it was time for Tim to sample some rather large slices of humble pie ... and I bet he enjoyed every mouthful!
From the off, we overwhelmed a bemused County side, winning every 50/50 ball available. Loss, Clarke and Carter controlled the midfield, which released Regan to torment the home defence with his blistering runs down the right flank. When Newport did win some possession, they soon gave it away, which left Thommo, Needs, Lima, Baddeley and Power a…

Issue 06 online

MILAN - Italy versus Wales

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The big one had arrived and it was off to Milan - officially pronounced Meeelan. Five of us set out from the Jewel of the Valley at 2pm on Friday. Having properjobs we couldn't get away days earier. By the time we left the Pearl the Dial M posse were on te train back from Bergamo. As we left we knew that the club's erstwhile Secretary (Pughy), would be waiting at the bar of the Hotel with a beer for us. The only problem we had now would be with our ticket bookings. Myself, Dan, Noddy (who’d be dubbed The Major later that night by a drunken North Walian), Spike and my ‘Paul Hunt’ lookalike brother hit Heathrow at 5pm knowing that we had 2 hours of Calsberg supping before flight time. A shake of the head at the check-in desk alerted me to the fact that my online booking was turning into shit. Without flight tickets the weekend was going to be a tad shorter than I'd antticipated - I hit the ticket desk and seek out someone sensible. His names David (a good Welsh name) and fiv…

Issue 05 online

http://publishing.yudu.com/Library/Aquye/DialMIssue05/resources/index.htm

Apologies for the quality of this one, but it was originally shite and there was 2 blank pages in the copy I had. Typical!!

The Slate-1993

In 1993, BBC Wales arts programme 'The Slate' did a short piece on Football fanzines. Of course Dial M for Merthyr were very much centre of things. A youthful Wolvesy did the team proud.

Issue 04 online

SAY IT AIN'T SO, JIMMY? Newport.Pt1

It's been the match that has stood out for all Martyrs fans since the season started, another opportunity to educate our neighbours from Gwent in the social etiquette of non-league football. Our chance to provide their supporters with the fundamental requirements for football at our level; hospitality in our clubhouse, four sides to a ground with no segregation (and no crowd trouble). What we couldn't rely on was what would happen on the lush green lawn that is Penydarren Park. It had been a tidy Christmas but to be honest it was all going to be little more than a warm-up for the main event; Merthyr Tydfil -vrs- Newport County.
I'm glad they've adopted their old name, it just seems more honest and gives a historical edge to matches. Against my better judgement I felt quietly confident about the encounter, the Martyrs record against the Gwenties isn't very good but recent performances if not results had been encouraging with the lads attempting to play a passing gam…

Madrid 2007 - Chairman Mao's Stag

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Just look at this Liverpool fans - this lot have got 9 of them. That's what you call History.

The Santiago Bernabeu

The Madrid Ultras, who we got to meet up close shortly after this. The ones in the black shirts real sh!t me up. They were well up for it and a little scary.

The Real Madrid bench was looking a bit ropey at the end of the 2007 season.
Wolvesy's stag line up: Knighty, The Brown Baron, Owens, BOB, Suntan Sammy, The Groom, Lukey, Rusty and Wingnut. Myself and Hulbachino out of shot.
Click pictures to enlarge.

Dial M for MERTHYR - The birth, death and rebirth

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Above are some of the Dial M troop - Wolvesy, Mytton, Hulby, Wingnut and Typey. The sight of two portly gentlemen wandering around Briton Ferry's pitch on a warm afternoon in August 1989 carrying a box must have seemed a bit strange to those Merthyr supporters who were there to witness a pre-Conference season friendly match, especially so when those two Merthyr lads proceeded to sell a new magazine "written by the fans, for the fans!".
The cover above is from the first edition after we dumped local rivals Newport out of the FA Cup. The header reflected the scoreline of the match.
This was the birth of the Dial M For Merthyr fanzine. It was the era of Thatcher and her ridiculous ID cards for football, Colin Moynihan and Hillsborough. The football authorities seemed powerless to stop the rot. The renaissance of the national game began not from the comfy surrounds of the boardrooms but from the terraces, the rise of the Football Supporters Association under Rogan Taylor coupl…

No Tea Party at Boston

Last Saturday (29-Jan) the Martyrs travelled to Lincolnshire to meet the DML league leaders Boston United. Today's fixture, at home to Burton Albion, will be the first game MTFC will have played since the 4-1 trouncing at York Sheet. But do not be too disheartened, my friend, last Saturday was not as bad as the scoreline suggests.
For the DMFM crew this was the away fixture of the season. League leaders at their excellent York Sheet home coupled with the prospect of a major Saturday night SESH in Peterboro' afterwards. Quiet roads and some manic driving from Dai Jizz softened the journey up. Nottingham was reached in just over two hours but it took another 2 hours to get to Boston from this point, mainly due to the various tractors/combine harvesters/road sweepers that we got stuck behind on the A~2. Boston was reached at around midday. It was good to see another car full (Julie Martin's gang) arrive just after us as, due to a lack of numbers, the Supporters club were unabl…

Dr Obnoxious' guide to being happy

You are depressed and happiness seems impossible but you couldn't be more wrong!. As long as your depression is not due to a chemical imbalance, which is often not the case (It is where Typey is concerned - the chemical being lager) these steps will help you feel happier by breaking your negative thought and the hold it has over you. SEVEN steps to being happierGratitude
Think of your life right now. What good things are there to be thankful for? Start listing them on a piece of paper or just go over them in your head. The fact that you can find many positive things in your life no matter how depressed you may feel is comforting and will change your mood.
Example - You don't owe the bank 100s of thousands personally. The bank will not be repossessing your house soon will he? Also you were able to watch a pulsating 90 minutes of FA Cup football on Saturday - 3 goals, 2 sendings off. OK they were all against us, but it was entertaining. There you go, feeling better already aren'…

Dial M - Issue 03 and a half online

http://publishing.yudu.com/Aq8la/DialMIssue03andahalf/resources/index.htm

And a special bonus posting this week. Dial M for Merthyr issues 3 and a half.

Everyone is reading it you know;
" Was I supposed to have saved that boss? Can't you see I'm trying to read Dial M" - Scott Allison at Poole on Saturday.

"I'll take care of business in a minute, let me just finish reading Dial M" - Chuck Chuck head of Lehman Brothers.

" Now F*$k off out of my office Tosh - I'm reading Dial M". - Dave Jones.

Dial M - Issue 03 online

Bright and Breezy

The Dial M group assembled at Anthea's cafe at Bro Dawel with the news of the Newport deals fresh from the press. Shepherd in exchange for our old friend Clarkey, it seems good business to me.
Gary Shep has never really caught the imagination of the Martyrs fans, we've been used to players like Paul Caviel and more recently Phil Green who always gave everything for the black & white shirt no matter what the occasion. It was never a matter of confidence for these players but more of pride in the Merthyr shirt.
Gary Shep is capable of getting goals, his goal at Ninian Park in the FAW Premier Cup being one of the best of this season, an exquisite header showing that he can finish. Maybe a change of scenery will suit him, let's hope he doesn't finally get going at Spytty Park on April 24th, irony? Don't get me started. I only hope that by the time that this issue appears that Darren Ryan has returned from his loan deal at the Gwenties a favourite of this publication …

Merthyr She Wrote

So I'm standing outside the Main Gates at Worcester City when Miss Marple gets out of a taxi, she's short of the fare, well it's ridiculously expensive in England, she obviously doesn't know the taxi chat ("Working late drive?" or Busy in town tonight?") so I step over and hand out some arian and pretty soon she's through customs and into the crime scene. Worcester have stolen a point and I want it recorded for the record. Worcester is not really a favourite destination for the Dial M For Merthys entourage, we were and still are innocent ! For me, it's an awkward trip - it's neither here nor there, it's a half day off work and a mad rush to Merthyr for the fast car over the border. Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to your pilot; The Brown Baron. Now, Mr. Brown loves a burger, and especially a burger from Dowlais Top so almost sixty minutes after leaving the Baili Glas we've travelled less than two miles, but soon it's th…