Showing posts from 2017

IT'S JUST LIKE WATCHING.....TELETEXT?!? by Purple Cones from issue 21

I was sat there watching the telly, just me and my woman sitting there relaxed, the only thing spoiling the chilled atmosphere is me switching back and forth from Page 307 of Ceefax, no score, no worries, just a rush of adrenalin each time the pages scroll through to that page, 0-1, Mitchell, me bouncing around the room, to the fridge, a couple of tins, BBC2, The Outer Limits - shit programme, back to the Ceefax, 1-1, Drewitt - I knew it, you don't release players of his enthusiasm and commitment, still it's a point, back to the outer limits and some stupid scientist morality tale.
9.47pm, I scroll through to page 307, "come on boys, a last minute winner " eh 2-1, not for them , Stafford win in last minute, depressed, back to fridge, clear the stock of lager, slumped and dazed, appeal to the great Chairman in the sky who replies, "I sent you Addison, what more do you want?"

David "Twiggy" Jones by Wolvesy

David Jones, known by all who knew him as Twiggy started watching the Martyrs during the 70s with a group of mates, mostly from the Gurnos, who never missed a game home or away. In those early days he was one of those lads sitting behind the goals on the grass watching his heroes, if the lads were moved on by the club committee then he would be found on the Theatre End grass bank. In the 80s there was always a bus trip to follow the Martyrs on a Saturday and Twiggy was always a stalwart of that scene, he always seemed to have a copy of the latest music press with him and he knew all the new bands and their lyrics. Twiggy knew all about Boy George and Culture Club well before anyone in Merthyr Tydfil. Twiggy was quiet but was never one to back down when challenged and many a time he was around to defend our club. Over the seasons it was an integral part of match-day at Penydarren Park to listen to Twiggy confirming the day’s results off the TV even though we could all see them already.…

DROP ZONE by Dai Pest from Issue 30

After an up and down performance against high flying Margate, a place only known to myself due to Del Boys and Rodney's antics, the Mighty Martyrs were to travel over the border to face fellow strugglers Dorchester Town FC.
With a heavy weekend's sesh dawning upon us and the fact that mini-Wolf had a football game for Merthyr Schools on the same day, the DMFM tribe was uncertain about travelling to watch the relegation battle.
But at this moment in time the Martyrs need all the support they can get, and a late phone call on Monday evening from Captain Kirk informing us that his sons game was off meant that DMFM battle bus would be setting
This did complicate matters a little with Wingnut having to re book time off he had previously cancelled the day before and Typey being unable to join us, leaving us with one free space in the car to fill. With the aid of technology our prayers were answered when the original Burger Master himself replied to an e mail to all fans asking if th…

A letter from The Editor of the Merthyr Express from the mid 1990s

This was a genuine letter we recieved from the then editor of the Merthyr Express in the mid 90s. Rival Merthyr fanzine "Don't Call Me Butt" took a pot shot at the editor in one of their issues and Gordon Caldecott thought he'd redress the wrong doing in our pages. Here is his response.

To the fine fellows at Dial 'M' For Merthyr.
Can I use your esteemed and much loved organ to penetrate the inner working of the fanzine mind as my own member could be perceived as too blunt a tool for such a task. As a virgin in the ways of the witty reposte I hope to comment on an article in that smaller tool of comedy discourse Don't Call Me Butt. 
Some would feel that being the Butt of ridicule could be seen to be a form of backhanded (or should that be rear-door) respect, while others may judge that simply acknowledging the existence of a not-so brown-nosed tribute simply gives it credence. But I - an investigative journalist who develops the whiff of a story into o pi…

New signing at PP ........ from 1992

Exclusive - Major Signing At The Park
It was revealed today that Merthyr Tydfil F.C. have been involved in another shock signing. Sources inform us that Fred Arscott has signed a new tea bag. Yes, that's right a new tea bag!

When interviewed Mr Arscott explained that he first spotted the aforementioned tea bag in Tesco's late one afternoon but had been put off by the expensive price tag wanted for the services of the tea bag. "I couldn't sleep all night. I just had to have that tea bag. It's just the one needed to make the tea bar the best in the country. It was a bit pricey but I didn't care in the end so I broke the bank and went straight to the shop in the morning and bought it!". Said the excited Mr Arscott.

DMFM are led to believe that the tea bag will make its debut for the Dartford game. We will also be watching this promising youngster closely in the future and will keep you posted.

The tea bar on the Wank Bank we are told will be selling the new …

Ble mae ein harian - from issue 53

The Chairman was 50 just after Christmas, so all the Dial M lads made a trip to Glasgow for his celebrations. I’d been before and the one thing that always sticks in my mind is their money. You know, you get there and spend the cash you take, then end up bringing back a ton of small notes in change or you visit the cash machine and over do the withdrawal just in case you need a seventh beer at the airport.
Countries with a strong identity have three stand out traits in my mind - self rule (we need this now), a strong language (we need this mandatory at schools) and some quality money.

Let’s look at the notes of the realm we currently use, they are forgettable. The new fiver is horrible let’s be honest. It is shiny, cheap feeling, has a German unelected monarch on the front and a racist, war mongering bully on the reverse. The rest of the money we use is no better or any more appealing. Who are these people on our notes – Edward Elgar (he’s no Joseph Parry is he!), Charles Darwin (The…

Desert Anyone - By Newbie

Having shared my review of Indians and Kebab Houses in Merthyr for fine dining with you, I was left with what next?  Fish and chip shops, no point really as the Dolphin is the clear winner.  Pizza shops, we have Domino’s, Pizza Hut, and Papa Johns so not much choice there.  Chinese, well not a fan of Chinese food.  I’m full to the guts straight after it, then starving 2 hours later.  So I settled on the idea of sharing my thoughts on what deserts Merthyr has to offer.

5) McDonalds McFlurry ice-cream – Available across the globe, but where else will you get one with a friendly smile from someone who you hope rather than expected they washed their hands after going to the toilet. The only downside to this, well you have to visit a McDonalds.

4) Walls soft scoop Vanilla Ice-cream (from Tesco’s) – The perfect way to get an ice-cream headache is to consume a full tub of Wall’s finest. A bit over the top you may think, but it’s so moreish.

3) Greggs’ custard slice – A delicious delicacy, bu…

It's Play off finals day 2014 ..... By Mrs Wolvesy

An Open Letter To Merthyr Town Football Supporters – a message from your wives, girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends and families.
We understand.  Monday is a big, big day.  
Some of us – and I especially include myself here- don’t get football, don’t understand the offside rule, don’t know what leagues Merthyr, Swansea, or even Manchester United are in.  We’ve watched with gently mocking bemusement over the years as you meet the end of season with a either a deep and often unshakable depression or manic glee.
But we understand - Monday is a big, big day.
Here’s the thing though.  It’s not just a big day for the supporters and the team.  Over recent years we’ve travelled with you on this rollercoaster.  We were there in the early days when you had no real stake in the cluband watched helplessly at the unfolding results.  We held our collective breath when you took the first tentative steps toward independence, challenging corruption and incompetence – never wavering from your commitment to y…

The “Transbore” deadline day by Newbie - Issue 53

The 31st January is known for 2 deadlines, your Self Assessment Tax Return if you are rich, or the winter transfer window deadline. Well another January 31st has passed, and Sky Sports News have once again embarrassed themselves’ and tried to squeeze every last drop out of their failing transfer deadline day.

In the past there has been great “excitement” on transfer deadline. Berbatov left Spurs for United, and who can forget Robinho signing for Manchester City. Robinho of course unforgettably thought he was signing for Manchester United, not realising there were 2 teams in Manchester as the “noisy neighbours” started to flex their financial muscles.

Sky have well and truly flogged this horse to death. There used to be a time when their intrepid reporters used to hang outside the ground with supporters in the background cheering. But that had to change when the bad language was repeated up and down the country, ruining Jim White’s special day. The energetic Jim White is on the brink o…

A Way of Life - Issue 53 - by Joshua “Bronte” Williams

I recently saw online that old chestnut of “it’s not just a kit it’s our skin, it’s not just a stadium it’s our home, it’s not just a club it’s a way of life” etc. I had heard it several times but I don’t think I had ever realised how true it was.

I was at a home game with my usual crew in the same old spot on the terrace, waiting to see which end we’d be attacking first when I was so engrossed in a conversation that I had a surprise when the teams started walking out. It was as if I had forgotten there was a football match about to be played, forgotten that I was at a football ground. That’s what Penydarren Park has come to mean to me, that it is no longer solely a football pitch with some covered areas to sit or stand; it is a home, a home away from home. No longer is it just some bricks and mortar I visit to watch sport, but a social hub I can build my life around. I probably would not have met some of my closest friends if it were not Merthyr Town FC, and I certainly would not hav…

The American Experience - Issue 53

My other team play in a monochrome kit too. The Oakland Raiders. The NFL team. I’ve supported them since I was a kid too, but unlike the Martyr’s I never got to see them play live. Then three years ago they played at Wembley in one of the annual International Series games. So that day, Myself and Chairman Mao made a trip to London to see the game. The team were awful back then starting the season with ten straight defeats. So it was no surprise to see them lose that day and fire the Coach during the flight back. The Raiders have one of the most colourful stories of any American Football franchise, but they have been pretty dire since the 80s.

Despite that 10 loss start to the season the players they signed that season were pretty good and added to that a few older heads the team started the 2016 season back in September very much on the up. They would go on to finish the season with a 12-4  record and were it not for a broken leg to their starting quarterback in one of the final games…

The Art of using a substitute by The Roving Sheep - from issue 53

Being the football connoisseurs that we are at Dial M for Merthyr and fans of the beautiful game  we have seen some interesting use of substitutes in recent seasons following the Martyrs on our quest for champions league football
We have even seen players subbed after 20 minutes this season and of course many of us have even seen subs being er......subbed.  Thankfully on our recent trip to St Neots the gaffa got it right and 10 minutes into the second half with Merthyr losing 2-1 Gavin brought on three players which had an immediate impact and totally changed the game, Tancock, Prosser, and Jenkins making way for Bull, Klopp and Patten. Straightaway the impact was evident and saw Merthyr taking the game to the hosts, absolute scenes at the end as we snatched two late goals to grab a 2-3 away win. The hosts seems to like the you've only got one song as we urged the lads forward in regards to our obligatory "C'mon Merthyr " chant. But as the ref blew the final whistle…

Rough Guide to the Referendum - Issue 53 - By Wandering

One of the initial tasks given to Steve Lloyd, who was appointed as the very first Business Development Manager by the Board, was to seek ways to generate future income streams to make the club self sustainable.

Steve eventually moved on to work for the FAW but he was responsible for laying the foundations of a long term legacy.

Just 48 hours after returning from Toulouse following the completion of our group games at Euro2016, along with all eligible adult members of the population we were able to vote in the EU referendum.

Perhaps we should be eternally grateful that former Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osbourne, was not in control of the financial situation at Penydarren Park. After months of predicting that the vote to leave the European Union would lunge the UK into a deep immediate recession, see an extra half a million without employment, lead to wages falling and income tax increasing, and in time make each British family £4,300 worse off, and that this nightmare scenari…

Bob & Sue - Issue 53 by Chairman Mao

You may recall that two of the current Board of Merthyr Town FC Directors resigned recently. I was one of that duo and despite calls on Facebook, Twitter and that graveyard of a Forum, we didn’t say a word as there was no need to make a public announcement as our reasons are many, mundane and personal.

First of all there is no major crisis at the club so if you’re looking for some drama then try Broadchurch. It must be said that being a Director of your Football Club is pretty cool and it was an honour and a privilege to be elected by my fellow fans to represent them on the Board.

However as soon as I joined the Board, the direction of the Club was already moving towards a more corporate entity. As the new facility (is there a name yet for the complete building?) grew so did the external stakeholders’ requirement for a more “professional” governance of the new money-making environment soon to be opened at Penydarren Park.

The Board had become little more than an Audit committee to mon…

Big Bryan’s Bopping, Boogie Column

The 50th issue of Dial M For Merthyr, now that’s an achievement.

I turn 50 in August, now that’s a worry. Let me introduce myself I’m Bryan James. I was one of the original contributors to the fanzine, writing “Big Bryan’s Bopping Boogie Column” in which I reviewed music, gigs etc as well as writing some other stuff.

Sneaking into offices, using the photocopying machines and hand stapling the early issues was all great fun. It was the dawn of the fanzine. The age of ordinary people putting their opinions into print. It was exciting, liberating and sometimes it got us into hot water but it was never dull.

I became part of the Dial M For Merthyr football team that started off playing matches against other fanzines and then progressed onto playing in the Rhymney Valley Sunday Football League. I was NEVER a footballer. I was a rugby player who had an injury that stopped me playing at a young age. My primary role was to growl a lot at our opponents (and sometimes my team mates), to get in …

Brian Owen...A Martyr - from issue 53 by Jon Owen

My Father was born in the late 1930's in Merthyr Tydfil. Like almost every other Merthyr boy he was football daft. He could name every FA Cup winning team of the 40's and 50's and was no mean player himself. Representing the Welsh Army team and being offered trials with Sheffield Wednesday and Aston Villa. It's a sign of how much times have changed that because was half way through a five year apprenticeship as an electrician it was decided his life would be better if he completed it as football was such a risky career move in those days. Finished in your 30's the dream would be to finish with enough to run a successful pub on the back of your name. My Father decided to stay in South Wales playing for Barry Town in the Welsh League. This also gave him time for do what he loved doing the most. Watching the game. And of all the games he watched (and he would watch any football he could) it was with the Martyrs his heart lay. 

A young boy when Merthyr had the greates…

Merthyr boys and QP … by Chairman Mao

So how do we get from the Redskins to Hampden Park? It’s all about spotting a magazine with Chris Dean and the band on the front, one of those short-lived music and fashion publications that lasted about three issues, something about the “ghost of strummer walks through walls”, and so journey begins.

A great interview with the band but another article further into the magazine is what really caught the imagination. The new phenomenon of the football fanzine covered in details from the generic issues from When Saturday Comes and Hit the Bar to established club fanzines The Pie, Orientear, City Gent and one called The Web.

Supporters writing their own stories. Let’s take a look at that. Pretty soon I’m sending stamped addressed envelopes everywhere with bits of card with coins sellotaped inside. And the fanzines start dropping through my letterbox in Trefechan.

Those early fanzines coupled with the rise of the Football Supporters Association ignited something in Merthyr and those early …

Our Town - Issue 53 by Joshua Williams

Merthyr Tydfil is our town
Though others look upon it with a frown
We know it is a great place to be
Where else would you be able to see
Kayno, Traylor and Prosser as a front three?

Admittedly, it has its fair share of clowns
But you could say that of many other towns
In recent times its come on leaps and bounds
Just like support Jonny Brown

From Cefn to Castle Bingo
Our boys do us proud
Merthyr Town till death do us part
Merthyr Town always in my heart

We’ll support Merthyr Town until death comes around
Making us proud to say
This is Merthyr
This is our town

Joshua “Bronte” Williams

Dealing with the Grim Reaper - from issue 53

Dealing with the Grim Reaper It’s been 7 years since we resurrected our club from the ashes of Stan’s apocalyptic bonfire. It’s been challenging, euphoric, fun, frustrating and uncomfortable. This last season has seen our progress inevitably slow as we are now mixing with clubs with equal resources to ourselves. The euphoria of the initial years where we faced new opposition each week has ebbed away. We now get to visit familiar shit holes like Chippenham and Cirencester with that Stock Aitken and Waterman repetitive beat and feeling. “Never gonna give you up” is up there with the “we’ll support you ever more” songs. I will never sing either. Both parties need to earn the others love in my book, care and respect. End of!
Off the field the early incarnation of Merthyr Town FC was a firebrand club burning like a supernova. Every week we had something new, we were the trailblazers. Whilst our local league club Cardiff City imploded under the mad Malaysian, the Martyrs were the poster boy…

Patience is a virtue by David Owens

It could be argued that the fans who own our club have already achieved our aim of returning Merthyr Town to its historical place in the Southern League but we do have further ambitions to reach the heights of the Lyn Jones era of the late eighties. The fans are of course disappointed to lose out this season but there is a lot of pride and satisfaction in the nascent talent of our management team of Gavin Williams and Dean Clarke. Merthyr is a resilient town where football has a special place in our hearts so we will be back stronger. Off the pitch there is a new commercial facility but it’s on the terraces where the real future of the club is unfolding. New songs, flags and a terrace culture from the youngest of our fan base upwards. It’s becoming an event just to visit Penydarren Park of late and coupled with our USP as a fan owned club it’s a heady mix which could take us a long way. Brighton is a club that followed play off defeat by winning direct promotion. We can do the same. 

Chippenham – that was nice from Issue 53

Word by Chairman Mao.
The day started early in the Park View. The lounge was full by the time I reached the Brecon Road hostelry. The pool table was busy and there was a queue at the bar. It’s 9.30am. The Queen’s Park lads are there of course drinking in earnest whereas my colleagues all seem a bit jaded from the night before when the Glasgow contingent had arrived in the Pearl. Still there’s nothing better than a Merthyr away day to raise the spirit. The jukebox is banging out tunes, there’s a few tall tales being shared and the pints have started to flow. It’s almost eleven so it’s time to start the journey to Chippenham; pints are thrown back, everyone leaves and heads down the British Tip to the Travel Club rendezvous outside the Law Courts.

Two buses today. We’re going to Chippenham. They’re top of the league. We’ve a few injuries but we fancy our chances at Hardenhuish Park. Now we’ve not always been welcomed with open arms in Chippenham, there’s been a few issues, a little bit …

How did we get here? - By Dai Webb - from issue 49

After many years of turmoil at the club things started to come to a head with Eugene Caparos whose intention was to return Penydarren Park to hosting greyhound racing. I was joined by other fans to raise £25,000 to place a counter bid to the Caparos bid. Although this money would be enough to take ownership of the club there would be no capital for the running of the club.
It was at this time I was introduced to Bob Phillips who certainly had the business acumen and financial means but unfortunately Bob was a major shareholder at Cardiff City FC and football regulations stated that he could not be a director of two clubs however he was part of a group called Just Players, a sporting agency whose legal representative was Bill Snowdon. Bob was reluctant to give up his position at Ninian Park but Bill Snowdon was the legal representative of Wyn Holloway and it was agreed that Wyn & Just Players would bid for the club instead. In order for this bid to be successful we had to withdraw o…